Making Plans

Spring is in the air! The sun is shining, birds are singing, and pollen-coated cars stand ready for the next grand adventure. I love this season. Spring is so full of hope, brightness, and beauty! The season of rebirth -- what better time to think about next steps in this alopecia journey (or any journey, for that matter)? Today I'm thinking about where I am, what I've learned, and where I'm headed in the near future.

So, let’s start with the current state of affairs: 1. Alopecia: present and accounted for! 2. Hair: way more than last year thanks to steroid shots, but not nearly enough to be considered a full head of hair or to go out comfortably without a wig or a hat. More shots scheduled next week…yikes and yay!

3. Eyebrows: still absent, BUT, my sister found me a magical new eyebrow makeup for Christmas and it stays on so well I literally have to scrub it with makeup remover to get it off my face at night. This is a downright miracle, and it means that there are more outdoor activities with less stress in store for this girl! Hallelujah!

4. Courage: variable. Some days I feel ready to take on the world and embrace a completely new way of living and being, while other days I find myself perfectly happy to maintain the status quo. To share a win in this area, my husband and I recently decided that being “trapped” in my own home just isn’t necessary (or beneficial), so with his encouragement I finally took off my “hair hat” the other day and wore just a soft hat with the front window blinds OPEN. Whether anyone actually walked past my house and thought to look inside or not, this little step was a big Freedom moment for me. I was proud!

5. Support: high! Family and friends who know about my alopecia continue to encourage me to take this journey one step at a time and remind me that their presence is not impacted by my hair one way or the other. The other day I talked about it with my son, who continues to express how much he wants to go diving in the pool with me this summer. I broached the topic again of telling people about my alopecia and how he would feel about it if everyone knew, and then asked him what he thought we should do. He again told me that he thought we should tell a few people to get comfortable with it and then get ready to tell more people. I was proud to be able to tell him that I am already at work on this and have been telling more people, both through sharing my blog and talking with some close friends in my neighborhood. I’m not sure I’ll be ready to go all out and dive with him in the neighborhood pool this summer, but I’m not ruling it out! 6. Desire: fair to middling. I think my level of desire for change and freedom is pretty proportional to how much time I spend actively thinking about and acknowledging my alopecia. When I was blogging almost daily, I felt super tuned in to myself and my desire for change and freedom was really high. Now that I am pursuing some other interests alongside that journey, I have allowed it to take the backburner at times. I’m realizing that the lack of intentional engagement has resulted in revival of some old patterns of coping and renewed intensity of the fears that I have been working so hard to overcome. Even as I write this paragraph, I can say that my desire for change is rekindling! I want more than the status quo!

Some lessons I’ve been learning: 1. It’s ok to have hope! The eyebrow makeup was a major eye opener for me. Just because a certain technology hasn’t existed before doesn’t mean it won’t be created. If they can invent magical eyebrow makeup that stays on way longer, someday, someone can find a cure for alopecia. I can’t wait!

2. Sometimes little steps take big courage. I almost didn’t mention my small win with the open mini blinds in this post, but I have been realizing that a small step in a big direction can be a major milestone – and that is worth celebrating!

3. Kids have wisdom. Sometimes I am blown away by the wisdom and maturity of my son. His perspective on this topic has been amazingly solid and I am thankful for it.

4. What we feed grows. This seems to apply to so many things. Fear. Faithfulness. Intentionality. Courage. Freedom!

What’s next for me: 1. Blog: I want to get back to writing on a more regular schedule, as I think there is value in intentionally looking myself and my alopecia in the face. Writing helps me to be more honest with myself and to be braver in sharing myself with others. I also want to spend some time learning more about SEO and becoming more “findable” by anyone who might be blessed by this blog.

2. Leap of faith: I have made plans to go hiking with a dear friend soon and we have agreed that I will leave my hair hat in the car and just wear a soft hat on the hike. Weee! A part of me is worried about running into an acquaintance on the trail, and another part almost hopes that we will just to get another conversation over with. Overall though, I’m really looking forward to being outdoors with a great friend doing one of my favorite activities in comfort and freedom!

3. Sharing about alopecia: I’m working on trusting myself and my intuition about talking with friends/family/neighbors about alopecia. I’m praying for opportunities to share and wisdom and courage about what to say and when to say it. 4. Coaching: I have been exploring a new direction that has been totally life-giving – I am training to be a certified life coach. I absolutely love walking alongside others as they actively choose and work toward lives they love. It inspires me to do likewise, and to continue in this faithful journey of walking toward freedom.

5. FUN: I want to consciously choose FUN this summer, which means finding ways to either comfortably/reasonably conceal my alopecia if necessary or take a leap of faith and choose to engage and be seen. Maybe, just maybe, this will include diving in the pool with my boy!

What about you? I would love to hear what lessons you've been learning lately or what steps you are taking toward a life you love, whether it has to do with alopecia or something completely different! Tell me in the comments below or send me an email at makingpeacewithalopecia@gmail.com. Thanks for walking with me!

XO,

Lindsay