Blog Reboot

Three years ago, this blog slowly unfolded its way into being. When it became clear that I needed to actually be intentional about processing my experience with alopecia, it felt important that my writing wouldn't be for my private use alone. I put a toe in the water by sharing the link with a few family members and friends, but for the most part I kept its existence under wraps. It was enough of a challenge to start to face some of this myself after over two decades of trying to ignore/deny/avoid it, and to be honest I wasn't ready for it to be widely shared.

After about a year of writing, processing, and growing, inspiration waned and I figured the blog had served its purpose. I had my posts printed into a book in case my son would want to read it one day, and disconnected the site from the domain.

Fast forward almost two years, and I am utterly surprised by the strong pull I feel to start writing, thinking and talking about this topic again. In October, I woke up with an unusually empty morning schedule, prayed, "Lord, what do you want me to do today," and within twenty minutes I was making a video without hair on, with the full intention of sharing it with others. What just happened??

There was no part of me that was expecting to do that, but once I did, inspiration took hold. Website updates! New colors, new images! Suddenly I had made a YouTube channel so I could share videos, taken selfies with and without hair, and added them to my homepage. I added a new section to share favorite products and other resources, and am working on a section to share some of the thought tools that have been useful to me during this process (coming soon). After all of this, I just...paused. I kept writing, but took a moment to breathe before actually reconnecting the site to the domain that I'd held on to "just in case."

What happened in the interim surprised me.

First, the Good: I'm finding that re-engaging intentionally thinking about this has pushed me even further away from fear and closer to freedom around this issue in my life. I have been sharing myself more openly with people, even relatively new acquaintances, and it has led to some really honest, vulnerable and deep conversations and connections. I have been blown away by some of what people have shared in return, and I am captivated by the idea that something I have fought to hide could actually be the key to building deeper connections with others.

The Less Good: Honestly, general fear cloaked in perfectionism along with FOPO (fear of other people's opinions) continue to rear their irritating heads and tell me all kinds of stories about sharing myself. If you're going to share this, It has to look and sound great. Hair is the least of your problems -- people are going to judge your writing, your design, your words...your mind. If you do this, there's no going back. Danger...danger...danger.

Goodness. Reading that back to myself made me laugh. Enough already -- it's fine, you're fine, I'm fine. Everything is honestly just fine.

So, here's the plan: this newly re-posted blog will continue to unfold, as I feel inspired and led to share. I'll be reconnecting it to the domain and moving forward without a 10 point plan for what will happen here, but I do commit to sharing myself with you. I invite you to join me as you feel inspired and led to read it, and would love to connect with you if you have something to share. Thanks for being with me!

Warmly,

Lindsay

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